Day 75 - week 11 - The Start of a 30-Day Challenge

Day 75 - Connecting More Deeply

I learned something the other day: "things aren't always what they seem"

I often tell a story about the time I jumped off a lifeguard station believing I could fly; I was 7. I always thought the story was about how faith-filled, imaginative, and daring I am, but after speaking with a mentor recently I realized I was missing an important detail.

I jumped off the lifeguard tower believing to the core of my being that the windbreaker I was wearing would fill up with the same wind that was churning whitecaps, and lift me, giving me wings like a seagull.

As the wind filled my "wings" I called out to my father to watch me. I spread my arms wide and jumped. Within seconds I hit the hard sand, the wind knocked out of me. That is the part I gloss over, "getting the wind knocked out of me".

Fast forward 40+ years. I am talking with my mentor, telling her the story, and she points out that perhaps this experience created a "core belief" that I carry around with me as an adult - namely that when I attempt to fly and do things that I deeply believe in, I believe they won't get off the ground, but instead will end in hurt, frustration, and utter disappointment - and ultimately take my "breath" away (all this is subconscious ).

This made me wonder if I stifle attempts at success because I am afraid of the possible adverse impact. I don't know the answer yet, but the question provides a marvelous place for exploration.

What are your core beliefs and how do they impact you?

5 thanksgivings:

1. I am grateful for insight, mentors and deep wisdom.
2. I am grateful for Marva at http://www.earthmotherdivinesage.com for inspiring this challenge.
3. I am grateful for Karen Paquin for being a long-term friend with a ton of true wind beneath her wings and a deep belief in herself.
4. I am grateful for Jeffrey who continues to lift my wings.
5. I am grateful to Father Rand Reasoner for being.

Let's Remember 2013's Successes Before We Set 2014's Goals

All around me I'm hearing people talk about moving into 2014, visioning for 2014, preparing for new year's resolutions, setting goals for the new year, and on and on. I'm feeling rushed into the new year! I'm not behind the 8-ball, the 8-ball is fast on my behind, and I don't like the pressure.

Don't get me wrong, I will set intentions for the new year, pick a word for the new year with Abbey of the Arts, and have goals for the coming year, but geewiz, I still have almost 2 weeks left in 2013!! It seems like nobody's talking about taking time to reflect.  I feel the same way when retailers put christmas decorations up right after halloween. "I WANT MY THANKSGIVING!" I scream internally.

Well, "I WANT TO REFLECT ON THIS YEAR!" Sheesh, I've done a lot of good work! I need a little time to relish it, to roll in it, and feel good about it.

Let me be the voice of holiday reason. 'Tis the season to reflect, review, reminisce, congratulate, and take stock of our progress. It's a time to give kudos, and consider what could be done differently.

I'm so busy being pushed to create new goals for next year that I don't even know if I accomplished my goals for this year! Can I get an "amen" please?

I recently spoke on a panel at the Studio City Holistic Chamber of Commerce meeting. We were talking about how to succeed with setting and keeping new year's resolutions. The first thing I addressed was the importance of looking at where we came from in order to look at where we need to go. This harkens to my August post about my annual "birthday success inventory". Here are a few questions you can ask yourself about this year before you move into next year:

1. What did you accomplish this year?
2. What did you do well this year? What did you do especially well this year?
3. Did you meet the goals you set for yourself this year?
4. Where did you struggle this year? What could you improve on?
5. Did you learn anything that you can apply for next year that would help you have a more meaningful, successful coming year?
6. If you could do things differently, what would you do differently and how?
7. Come up with your own questions too

A friend of mine, Tana Guadi, a marvelous life coach, encouraged me (in a coaching session) to write a letter to myself, thanking myself for all the good things I did this year, and for all the ways I showed up for myself. I wrote the letter. WOW! What amazing insight I gleaned from my gentle, wise, wondrous self.

So the message I want to leave you with is, "if you are going to pile one more thing on your already hectic, holiday schedule let it be to finish out this year and take stock of it, before you move into next year!"

Practice Engaging Your Inner Wisdom:

Can you take a half an hour, a day, or a weekend to review 2013? Can you pull out your 2013 wish list, dust it off, and see if any of it came true? What about writing a letter to yourself to tell yourself what a good job you did this year? Have you thought about giving yourself a bonus? Consider what you can do to bring closure to 2013 - to feel good about your successes and reduce your weaknesses. Wishing you all the best at the close of the year!

Supporting the Success of Others

We are happy to have this blog post be part of the
Winter Solstice Blog Hop

Over the past few months, Chantel and I have focused on helping you recognize and achieve success in a variety of forms.  We began with a success inventory and built on that by contemplating a unique aspect of who we are and how that shapes our success.  Then, we looked at time, trust, and identity through the lens of success.  In our last post, Chantel used leaves falling from the trees to talk about letting go of what's preventing us from being successful.

As we enter the holiday season, Chantel and I would like to change our success focus to helping others achieve success.  As you go out to shop for gifts for friends and loved ones, consider how your spending power can help others achieve success.  In short, support a local artist or artisan, a mom and pop store, someone in your community.

We'd like to offer a little incentive by sharing three things with you - some great quotes about helping others, an example of some of the local places Chantel supports, and an opportunity for you to win something from us.

As I contemplated this post, I looked for quotes to inspire me and would like to share three of them with you in addition to the one above.

"The best way not to feel hopeless is to get up and do something.  Don't wait for good things to happen to you.  If you go out and make good things happen, you will fill the world with hope, you will fill yourself with hope."  Barack Obama.

"Even the smallest act of caring for another person is like a drop of water - it will make ripples throughout the entire pond."  -  Jessy and Bryan Matteo

"If you're not making someone else's life better, then you're wasting your time.  Your life will become better by making other lives better."  - Will Smith

Below you will find my (Chantel's) list of the local artists, musicians, retailers and restaurants I support. I live in Los Angeles, so if you live in the area or plan to visit soon, make a point of stopping in to one or all of them. You can also order online from some of these organizations.

Finally, we would like to give something to you.  In the spirit of supporting a local business or artist, I should mention that Chantel and I are both local artists and business professionals.  Therefore, I am offering a copy of my novel, The Son of Nine Sisters.  Chantel is offering three thirty minute coaching sessions  and a copy of an Eddie Edwards and the Psychedelic Spurs CD .  To win one of these gifts, simply email us and let us know which gift you prefer and we will enter you into the drawing for that gift.

Art Supplies

Soft Expressions

Mind, Body, Spirit Classes, Events, & Workshops

Art and Soul Lab
 
The Yoga Loft

Heart of Voice
 

Be the Change Energy Center
 

Shelley Bell - Laughter Yoga

Barbara Schiffman - AKashic Records

Carole Pilkington - Astrology

Music

Eddie Edwards & the Psychedelic Spurs
 

Stella Davies

Debra DeLahunty

Ter Lieberstein - Loving Stone Productions

Peter Jack Rainbird

Food

The Green Temple
 

Follow Your Heart

Retail

Harmony Works

Made in the Valley
 

Michi Olson

Kim Jones - Sugar Skull 77

Holistic Business

Holistic Chamber of Commerce

Non-Profits

Sustainable Works

Southern California Foster Family & Adoption Agency

The Labyrinth Society

Veriditas

Holy Spirit Retreat Center

Prince of Peace Church

West Valley Food Pantry

Shadowland Foundation

Practice Engaging Your Inner Wisdom
Karen and I would love it if you would list, in the comments section below, the local businesses YOU support. Include the city where people can find these businesses and put a website or phone number so that people can reach them.

Remember that by shopping locally, you keep money in the local economy, help a neighbor stay afloat financially, and support passionate entrepreneurs.

We thank YOU for your support of Engaging Inner Wisdom all year! Good luck on winning one of our prizes!

Return to Winter Solstice Blog Hop

Adopting the Nature of a Tree for Success

"Leaves are falling down like embers

in colors red and gold

they set us on fire..."

~Rowland Salley

Autumn leaves arouse my senses. The vibrant, bold colors catch my eyes, and the rustling, shuffling of leaves swooshing and crackling as I walk over them perks my ears. I take notice – a message is here for me – what does it mean?

I consider the life of a tree and contemplate the metaphor of falling leaves:

-Is there anything I need to let go of?

-Why should I shed?

-What do I need to release?

I know I’m on the right track, because right now I feel overwhelmed – maybe doing too much, having too much, wanting too much, hanging on to out-dated ideas, concepts, desires, and ways of being.

Sometimes I cling, like those last, straggling leaves that refuse to fall, hanging on for dear life, and more willing to bear the brutal winter chill than release and move into a new phase of existence. But is it the tree that hangs on, or the leaves? Maybe they are both clutching, neither recognizing that the leaves, in their new form, still hold value, fertilizing and nourishing the tree in new and different ways.

“When the heart weeps for what it has lost, the spirit laughs for what it has found.” Sufi Teaching

I breathe in the ideas of shedding, releasing, and letting go. I haven’t done anything with them yet, because I too am still clutching, even though I know it goes against the natural order of things. However,  I’m thinking about these ideas and after all, isn't simple awareness often curative? Shedding, releasing, and letting go, are all concrete concepts, and with them, I can begin to do “my work”.

Pondering the nature of the tree and its leaves further, I recognize that letting go, shedding, and releasing, all serve me. Just as the tree benefits from the fallen leaves that turn to mulch, I too am nourished by the experiences I let go of, the material things I release, the stale, habitual thought patterns I shed; they help to fertilize me, becoming the mulch of my life. I have learned from them all, used them all, and now in releasing them, they continue to serve, and as I move forward, I incorporate their wisdom into my being.

Unlike the leaves that hang on, continuing to drain energy from their tree, by letting go, I reclaim my energy. As I release, I open myself to going inward and to bringing clarity that re-organizes, re-prioritizes, and re-negotiates.

The shedding around me signals a shift, a transformation. Sometimes I am forced to let go, as if a gale-force wind blew all my leaves off. Other times, things gently fall away on their own.

This phenomenon is seasonal, cyclical – I just don’t notice it until I see the fallen leaves scattered on the ground. Perhaps I could embrace this experience more often, recognizing the “fall” needed this month, or week, or day; asking, “what needs to drop away?”.

At this point I am still exploring, not sure of what needs to be released, but I am willing to look, write, reflect and assess; to see which doors open easily and which seem to close. Over the last several months Karen and I have been writing about success, and I suspect that embracing the nature of the tree and its leaves will only enhance mine. I intend to take the time necessary to identify what I need let go of, shed and release.

Practice Engaging Your Inner Wisdom:

What is calling you to be released? Can you be literal in this application and clear out a cabinet, or a closet? Can you go through and shed one thing from each room? Perhaps these actions will loosen up any internal elements like thoughts, ideas, or concepts that you need to release. What about your behaviors, actions and intentions? Are there any that you are clinging to that need to move on, so that you can move forward? Do you have too much on your plate, too much stuff, a bad relationship, an addiction? Take time over the next several weeks to check in with yourself – write, paint, draw, meditate – engage in whatever practice will help you embrace the natural cycle of letting go, thereby making room for and feeding your new potential.

Do We Limit Our Success by Limiting Our Construct of Time

Written the night before the full moon, September 18, 2013, while on Vancouver Island.

On this eve of the full moon, heading into the autumnal equinox I am struck by the passing of time; how we delineate it and its meaning. Specifically, I am curious about time and success. Do we limit our success, by limiting our construct of time?

Moon Rising Cowichan Bay, BC

Earlier this evening, a colleague and I joked about how the organizers of The Labyrinth Society's 15th annual gathering used the tides to arrange the timing of workshops. We mused over this action and how it would never work, or be accepted in the context of "conventional time". Most of us are bound by our wrist watch; roped into our 24 hour cycle bisected by the morning snooze button and the last tv program we can watch before having to hit the hay in time to get up and do it all over again.

On Vancouver Island, where I presently find myself, they talk about "island time" - they say time has an "ish" at the end, so for example 7:30-ish; I like it! I am fortunate enough to be on "ish-time" in Los Angeles (due to my own intention). What I find even more striking than "ish-time" though, is our larger society's lack of connection to the nature around us that defines time in a deeper and more meaningful way than our wrist watches or alarm clocks. We don't consider the impact that the way we think about time has on success, or at least our perception of success.

Twenty-eight days pass and a new moon cycle begins. The equinoxes and solstices come every three months marking the changing of the seasons. The tides rise and fall, ebb and flow, and nature works it's magic. In spring animals are born, in fall food is harvested - nature has her time, and everything moves through its cycle to completion, to success. But somehow, we humans put tremendous pressure on ourselves to do things in a certain way, by a certain time. Get a college degree by this age, get married and have babies by a certain time, buy a house, get in with the right job, have enough saved for your retirement by a fixed age, and so on. If we don't meet the expectation, then we are not successful.

I am especially aware of this as I age - nearing 50, I have not kept up with "the Jones" - I don't own a house or have a million dollar IRA with a retirement date in sight. I remember my grandmother telling me that by 40, if nothing else, I should become a postal worker so that by the time I was 62 I could still get in a good 20 years. On society's terms I might not be considered successful.

But what about my time? This is my life. Why am I living on someone else's agenda? Is there only one way to be considered successful? What I am aware of is that by noticing the passing of time in the context of nature, I see that  everything has its time and is successful; this includes me. My "success" has, like the tides, ebbed and flowed. Like the full moon, my success has waxed and waned, and like the turning of the seasons, my success comes in cycles.

"We do without doing and everything gets done." ~ Richard Blum

What about your success? Do you notice a pattern? If you don't feel successful right now, be patient, keep doing "your" work. Your time will come around again.

Practice engaging inner wisdom.
Begin to notice time in different ways. Get up with the dawn, or go to bed with the sunset. Pay attention to the phases of the moon, or the coming of the solstices and equinoxes. What about 7-year transitions, or time in the context of the seasons of your life? Ponder your successes within the various rhythms of time that surround you.

One Simple Tip to Boost Your Success

“ Success begets success” ~Anonymous

Do you know why “Anonymous” said this? Because any one of us could have said it, we’ve all experienced it. Think about a time when you’ve tried to do something new. If it was hard (success was more difficult), you may have given up, or at least found yourself dreading the idea of doing it again, but if it came easily (success was easier), you may have continued, or at least tried again. Success encourages us. It gives us hope, highlights our accomplishments, and makes us feel capable.

Most definitions of success include the words “prosperity”, “popularity”, “wealth”, and “goals”, however, I think being successful includes far more than having an outcome that involves money or everyone thinking we’re swell. Success moves beyond achieving goals, and into the realm of interaction with others, perception of self, and a life lived with depth and meaning.

Success is so much more than just performance, prosperity, and popularity

I continually assess my success, sometimes haphazardly, and in a few instances, with repeatable certainty. For example, every year, I do a “success inventory”, a process in which I take time to give myself kudos. I do my success inventory on a special day, my birthday. I don’t know about you, but to me, birthdays mean a lot! I love spending time with family and friends and visiting special places. Birthdays also offer a clean slate, a new year, and provide a marvelous opportunity to reflect and grow.

So, as Earth begins its course around the sun again, I take time to reflect on my previous revolution, and set seeds of intention for my annual adventure. Several weeks prior to my birthday I begin asking myself questions to get my brain thinking (check out “One Small Step Can Change YourLife” by Robert Maurer.) I don't’ have to find the answers right away, I just want my brain to chew on the questions for a while, ‘stirring the pot’ so to speak.

I start to think about what I accomplished, where I fell short, the challenges and unexpected opportunities that arose, and whether I reacted or responded to them, and how. I ask myself, “What was the general tone of my year in terms of my emotions”. I consider how my interpersonal relationships played out, where I need to take responsibility, and where I need to let go and not get caught up in drama – even If that drama is only in my head.

On the day of my birthday, I start out by creating sacred space. Whether at home, or a location like the beach or park, I lay out a cloth, using a material I love, select iconic items that have meaning for me, and light a candle. The candle reminds me to bring in the light, positive energy. Often times I will include a natural item such as a flower, leaf, or seashell, something that reminds me of my connection to the world around me.

Rituals support humans in their daily life

Once my sacred space is set, I allow myself to settle, spending time in meditation, either a mindfulness meditation, a guided visualization, or centering prayer. With that done, I begin to free write, allowing myself to remember my year; sometimes I will go month to month from my last birthday, other times I will notice the highlights first. What I’ve found, is that usually, I’ve had an amazingly successful year, not just because I’ve accomplished goals, but because even in my trying, difficult times, I realize that I’ve learned something, or taken away something of value that makes me a better person today. I end my ritual by considering how I would like my next year to flow – I don’t list goals per se, but rather, I set a tone, and come up with words that indicate my intentions.  This year I decided to focus on being joyous, inspired and confident; ultimately with those intentions I will be successful.

By engaging in my annual ritual, I recognize that “success” means so much more than accomplishing a goal, obtaining wealth, or becoming popular – success is a quality, a timber that defines my experiences. To be kind, is to be successful. To be happy, is to be successful. To be connected with others, empathizing, celebrating, contributing, is to be successful. I’ve had a rich and marvelously successful year, and I’ve accomplished quite a bit too!

Practice engaging your inner wisdom:

What does success mean to you? How do you measure your success? Do you engage in a birthday ritual, or other rituals to give yourself credit for your success? Have you ever considered doing a “success inventory” – try them daily, weekly, monthly, or annually – by taking stock of your success, you will bring about more success.