The Writing is Not On the Wall - Day 6

I do not really have much to say today. So, I suppose I will just write my 5 thanksgivings and call it a day, or a night.

Movers and Shakers 

5 thanksgivings:

1. I am grateful for my own inner wisdom that teaches me so much.
2. I am grateful to connect with new people who have so much to share.
3. I am grateful for the people who are consistent in my life.
4. I am grateful for Amanda, who gives me food for thought.
5. I am grateful that life is so good. 

I'm Curious - Are We Connecting When We Text and E-mail? - Day 5

I woke up this morning thinking about how often my phone rings vs. dings. The former is a call, the latter is an electronic communication. I find that I get far more texts and emails than phone calls. Frankly, I prefer the phone. I want to hear my friends, and I want to connect on a human level with colleagues and new acquaintances. I want to have spontaneous conversations that evolve out of a human dialogue.

Laying in bed I pondered whether or not we are really connecting when we text and email. I suspect that the x and y generations would say "hell ya". But what kind of connecting is it?

This line of inquiry got me thinking that every friend who texts or emails me ultimately looks and feels the same on my device screen; there is nothing unique or specific to the typography that in anyway conjures the way my friend "feels" to me, at least not in the same way a phone call would. Of course, each person's writing and content is different, and each person has their style, but the quick texts all seem to be the same, and personal writing style does not make me feel any more or less connected.

Truth be told if I cannot be with my friend, then I would at least like to hear their voice.  I love the variations, the nuances, the radical differences between my friends mannerisms and voices that come through their personal "phone tone" i.e. inflection, emphasis, vocal character and quality. I also love to hear them laugh, something I cannot do via text or email, and NO, I am sorry, 'lol' just is not the same!

I guess maybe I need to move to "facetime" or skype or google hangouts, but even those options feel inadequate, people look different and they seem distracted by their computers.

Clearly I am a product of my upbringing and am having difficulty with the changes that are happening technologically. Do not get me wrong, I am not a techno-phobe. However, it seems to me that we think that when we text, email, or reach out on facebook we are actually connecting, and in a certain sense, I guess we are. I just think this type of "connection" lacks the humanity that face-to-face meetings and phone calls have. I crave that human connection.

I suppose I am thinking about all of this because I have recently been spending a lot of time texting, emailing and facebooking, thinking that I am a.) getting things done, and b.) connecting, but at the end of the day, I do not have a lot to show for all of it, and I am still sitting alone at my computer, not feeling as connected as I would like to.

What do you think of email, text and other techno means of communication as they relate to connection?

5 thanksgivings:

1. I am grateful for opportunities to be with my friends.
2. I am grateful for all of my friends.
3. I am grateful for the wisdom my friends share with me.
4. I am grateful for the wind that is connecting with me nature right now.
5. I am grateful for technology.

Fear Around Writing and Being Stuck - Day 4

Ok... so it is only day 4 and I already have writer's block.

I have so many feelings around writing this blog. Perhaps I should address each in turn:

• It seems really indulgent writing about "whatever" pops up. I "should" have a theme! Isn't there something I could be writing about that creates a sense of continuity? Oh yeah, isn't this blog about "engaging inner wisdom"? Is it possible to put everything I talk about into the context of "inner wisdom". Hmmm...I am not sure. Is choosing to write everyday for 30 days enough of a "theme". Is it possible to write for 30-days about how writing for 30-days impacts my inner wisdom? Hmmm.

• I would like to find my "voice" or my "unique commentary" - well it is scary and ironic that I have not, given that I am a singer, but it is true. Perhaps it relates more to my first point than I realize, and that is why I do not have a theme, other than the overarching idea of "engaging inner wisdom"; i.e. I do not have a theme because I have not found my point of view and what I have to say, or offer. Maybe that is the crux, "feeling like I have nothing meaningful to offer" (drag...where does that come from?).
  
• Given all the amazing, informative, creative, deeply spiritual blogs out there, I feel a tremendous sense of pressure to write something pithy and resource-full, posts that include links and connections to outside resources. This of course ultimately becomes a loop - if I am linking to other people who have written about things I want to write about, and they have written well, then I think inwardly, "why bother writing something, it has already been written, and it is better than anything I could write, so...why not just promote other people's work?". Which brings me back to not finding my own voice. *sigh

Love this from thestrangestsituation.blogspot.com

• Why do I want to write anyway? What is the point? To what end? Is it because "everyone's doing it, and it is the best way to get myself out into the world and show people what I have to say and offer?" But...what is it I have to offer that has not already been said more clearly, more concisely, and with more eloquence? *double sigh... see above!
  
• I am so future oriented. I want the blog to be good, no great! I want it to get a million, gazillion hits, and take off! I want book options and signing tours and oh my, oh my, oh my - VERUCA SALT (Charlie and the Chocolate Factory)!! Oh My Gosh! Such HUGE EGO involvement, and a shit-ton of pressure (for those of you who don't curse, well, you might not want to read my blog, because I definitely have a voice around "to curse or not to curse", and I lean on the "to curse" side of the spectrum).
  
• I fear being inconsistent. This of course stems from everything already mentioned.

Being consistent and having something meaningful to say remain the biggest obstacles to writing this blog. I am using the NANOWRIMO 30-day challenge as a catalyst, but it does not help me churn out the words, find a meaningful topic, or develop an over-arching theme. Moreover, I am not sure that anything I have to say will be relevant to you, or anyone, for that matter. Why am I doing this anyway?


If you blog, have you dealt with these issues or feelings, and how have you overcome them? What was it like for you when you first started blogging? How did you go about becoming consistent, finding something to say, etc.?

5 thanksgivings:

1. I am grateful for being able to read and write.
2. I am grateful that there is a forum to write my feelings, experiences, and whims.
3. I am grateful that NANOWRIMO http://www.nanowrimo.org exists and inspires so many people.
4. I am grateful for all the amazing authors who paint textural imagery and felt experiences using words.
5. I am grateful for my computer.

Intentionally Welcoming the New Day - Day 3 - 30-Day Challenge

Every morning we get up and go through our morning routine. What if we decided to bring the sacred in by creating a morning ritual that improved the quality of the day?

When people hear the word ritual they often think of druids, pagans or witches. Or perhaps they think of catholics and god-fearing church goers. Either way, the idea of ritual becomes depersonalized and set with religious overtones. Do not get me wrong, there is a necessary place for these types of experiences, but not all rituals need to be interpreted in this way.


I like to think of ritual with less intensity, so I simply define a ritual as "a routine way of honoring what is important in my life". This idea of ritual allows me to connect deeply through repeated patterns set with intention and mindfulness.

Let me give you an example. Like most people, I like to wake up and have a cup of my favorite hot beverage (which happens to be ground, roasted cocoa beans with cream and honey). I could choose to go through the news of the day, think about what I want to accomplish, plan my "to-do" list, etc. However, I prefer to experience going inward, and focusing on the quality of day I would like to manifest.

I find that when I spend quiet time in the morning listening, I am able to sense how I want my day to "feel". By knowing this, I can then set intentions, and throughout the day, become more aware of whether my actions are in alignment with the essence I want to experience for that day.  When I am this mindful, I tend to have much more fulfilling days; days that are richer and filled with synchronicity.

There is something magical about taking time to sit silently in meditation or contemplative prayer. Doing so opens space for the coming day. Journaling reveals further insights, and allows me to clear my brain of unnecessary crap that would otherwise clutter my thinking. In this way I create space for more insights and information to "download" throughout the day. I also like to select a daily SoulCollage® card to inform the "character" or "quality" of my day.

I do these types of thing every morning, usually for about 45 minutes.  The specifics may change, but the objective remains - Intentionally set the tenor of my day using ritual, and recognizing the sacred in every moment of my life. I have a choice to be present, or not.

Do you have a morning ritual that colors the quality of your day?

5 thanksgivings:

1. I am grateful for making time to meditate.
2. I am grateful for silence and the wisdom inherent in it.
3. I am grateful for Sister Chris Machado of the Holy Spirit Retreat Center for providing amazing opportunities to go into the silence. http://hsrcenter.com
4. I am grateful for the moments throughout the day in which I remember my morning intentions.
5. I am grateful for mirroring friends who know the importance of going inward.

Noticing Synchronicity - Day 2 - 30 Day Challenge

Does synchronicity provide us with breadcrumbs that confirm we are heading in the right direction?

I am a pilgrim.

By this I mean that I satisfy Dictionary.Com's first and second definitions:

1.) a person who journeys, especially a long distance, to some sacred place as an act of religious devotion i.e. pilgrims to the Holy Land

 

2.) a traveler or wanderer, especially in a foreign place.

 

 

 

 

 

 

I use these definitions metaphorically. I see my life as a sacred journey, and the world, Earth, Gaia, as a sacred place, so I am always walking sacred ground, and traveling to sacred places or experiences. 

 

I desire a life lived intentionally, with thoughtful consideration (I don't always satisfy this desire, but I strive for it none-the-less); this becomes an act of "religious devotion". My "holy land" is a "way of being" in the world that is filled with mindfulness and integrity. And yet, I feel as a if I am a traveler wandering this foreign place called "Life", trying to figure out how to satisfy my desire and reach my "holy landing place". 

And then I am reminded that it is not the destination, but the journey that is important.

 

Life feels foreign at times because I don't know the purpose of it. I don't have a guide book. I am not certain of where I am going. I continually familiarize myself with the lay of the land, and of course have become better acquainted with life, and yet it still perplexes me. 

 

As I move to accomplish my life's goals, and meet society's expectations, and satisfy my deep, soul-inspired yearnings, I am not always certain which direction to go in. As a spiritual person, I ask God for guidance, I pray, I meditate, I journal, and engage in different activities that I hope will provide me with answers and a map for moving forward, helping me to reach my objectives.

 

Despite my efforts, sometimes my way is not clear, uncertainty floods me. It is at these times that "universal forces" offer tremendous insight.  The universal force I am referring to is "synchronicity" a concept described by Carl Jung, defined here by Dictionary.Com:

"the simultaneous occurrence of causally unrelated events and the belief that the simultaneity has meaning beyond mere coincidence."

I am in a process of discernment regarding becoming a "spiritual director" and within the last two weeks  I have experienced synchronicity in relation to this process. When synchronicity happens, I see it as a message that suggests I am on the right path. It feels to be a guiding force that encourages further exploration, and assurance that I am "getting warmer".

 

What do you think about synchronicity? Do you have any examples of when it surfaced in your life?

5 thanksgivings:

1. I am grateful for meaningful coincidences that remind me I am on the right path.
2. I am grateful for Kelly Morgan of CreativeLife.com for introducing me to the concept of synchronicity.
3. I am grateful for the time to write these posts.
4. I am grateful for opportunities to grow spiritually.
5. I am grateful for clarity and insight.

 

 

Day 75 - week 11 - The Start of a 30-Day Challenge

Day 75 - Connecting More Deeply

I learned something the other day: "things aren't always what they seem"

I often tell a story about the time I jumped off a lifeguard station believing I could fly; I was 7. I always thought the story was about how faith-filled, imaginative, and daring I am, but after speaking with a mentor recently I realized I was missing an important detail.

I jumped off the lifeguard tower believing to the core of my being that the windbreaker I was wearing would fill up with the same wind that was churning whitecaps, and lift me, giving me wings like a seagull.

As the wind filled my "wings" I called out to my father to watch me. I spread my arms wide and jumped. Within seconds I hit the hard sand, the wind knocked out of me. That is the part I gloss over, "getting the wind knocked out of me".

Fast forward 40+ years. I am talking with my mentor, telling her the story, and she points out that perhaps this experience created a "core belief" that I carry around with me as an adult - namely that when I attempt to fly and do things that I deeply believe in, I believe they won't get off the ground, but instead will end in hurt, frustration, and utter disappointment - and ultimately take my "breath" away (all this is subconscious ).

This made me wonder if I stifle attempts at success because I am afraid of the possible adverse impact. I don't know the answer yet, but the question provides a marvelous place for exploration.

What are your core beliefs and how do they impact you?

5 thanksgivings:

1. I am grateful for insight, mentors and deep wisdom.
2. I am grateful for Marva at http://www.earthmotherdivinesage.com for inspiring this challenge.
3. I am grateful for Karen Paquin for being a long-term friend with a ton of true wind beneath her wings and a deep belief in herself.
4. I am grateful for Jeffrey who continues to lift my wings.
5. I am grateful to Father Rand Reasoner for being.

Love Commercialized

Happy Valentine's Day?

For years, I've wondered why we need a special day to tell the people in our lives that we love them.  Why do we feel obligated to buy chocolates and candy and flowers and jewelry and cards with hearts on this day?  Maybe if I share some numbers with you, you'll see why I have titled this post - Love Commercialized.

Let's start with the overall amount spent last year.  How does more than $18 billion strike you?  Yes, billion with a B.  Ready for a breakdown of those billions?  According to CNN, in 2013, Americans spent nearly $2 billion on flowers and $2 billion on candy and almost $4.5 billion on jewelry.  The rest comes in cards, dinners, hotels, and such.

Now, I really have to ask.  Why do we do it?  Is that love?  Are we really expressing love?  And... why do we do it all in a single day?

Last night, I made four dozen cupcakes so that both my kids could take some in for their class parties.  Now that I've admitted my indulgence with this holiday, I'm going to tell you why I did it.  The answer isn't simply, "Because they're my kids."  The answer is because, when I was a kid, my mom did it for me every year.  I never asked her to do it and I never expected it, but every year she did it.  I realize now that, even though my mom had trouble saying the words, "I love you," that she did love me and this was one of the few ways that she showed it.  That is why I do it for my kids (and for myself).  It keeps my mom's love flowing.

I've just given you two different sides to love - the monetary breakdown of Valentine's Day and a personal story of an expression of love.  How did each one make you feel?

Practice Engaging Your Inner Wisdom

Using the story I just told about my mom, think about the less obvious ways that the people in your life show you that they love you; share one of those stories with us in a comment on this post.

What subtle ways do you show love to your friends and family or kindness to people you don't know?  What about animals?  Share one of those stories with us in a comment on this post.

Finally, a friend and I manage a page on Facebook called When We Are Kind, on which we post only positive things, people doing nice things for each other or for animals and even animals helping people or other animals.  If you have a Facebook account, like the page so you can receive some positive loving stories in your day.