Creative Process Need Processing?

They say, “just begin at the beginning”, unfortunately it’s not always that easy. Frankly, we don’t always know where to begin, and how to move forward. For example, I wasn’t sure what to write about today. I knew I wanted to talk about my experience of being creative and in "process" over the last two weeks, but I struggle with knowing what I want to say about it.

So, let me just start in the middle. I’m in process, my space is a mess, ideas emerge with fits and starts, I find myself elated, frustrated and filled with doubt from moment to moment; each laying of a color or collage takes me through an emotional roller coaster. The sad part is that I’m only working on a piece that’s 2’x3’, and made solely for my own edification and “movement through” a previously turbulent two weeks. WTF?

International Soul Art Day work in progress

It’s amazing to me how connected and committed I can be to “creative expression” and “process” while simultaneously embracing doubt, fear, resistance and an inner struggle. What’s up with that? Does it ever stop? *Sigh… I don’t know.

Sometimes I wonder why creating can feel painful and sad, and yet such tremendous wisdom can be gleaned during and after the process. And then there's the shear joy and elation that comes with a product that pleases – it's the proverbial “cherry” or “icing”.

“Hallalujah!” I shout, triumphant over my creative passage; it’s done – until the next blank canvas, music score, or journal page beckons. “Why do I do this to myself?“ I wonder.

I know the answer, I just don’t want to admit it.

I like the emotion-filled, unpredictable, “getting my hands dirty” feeling that comes from being fully engaged and committed to “playing” and expressing myself creatively – even if it means being deeply moved and impacted in unexpected ways – even if it means experiencing profound feelings that I can’t articulate, and sometimes have trouble sitting with. Does that make me a masochist?

I also struggle with the frivolity of it all – how can I rationalize cutting, pasting, gluing, coloring, and playing with Styrofoam, buttons, glitter, mosaic tiles, affirmations, and whatever else crosses my path? “Seriously? That’s how you spent your day?” my critic roars, incredulous.

Whoa Nelly…

my messy workspace

I find myself repeatedly taking deep breaths, holding onto the armrests of my chair for dear life. "Can I do this?" I ask myself. "I can do this." I tell myself.  I LOVE to do this!  (despite appearances). I feel better when I do this. My life is more meaningful because of doing this.

Ok… (deep breath) now let’s continue, I’m not done. I’m still in the middle of it, scrap papers strewn haphazardly around me, paint brushes floating in dirty water, creative ideas that I haven’t glued down yet, but keep assessing for their “artistic” contribution. My art supplies lie splayed out, scattered in a frenzied whirlwind of possibility. And me, I sit as the eye of the storm, pleased to be in the middle of it!

How about you? What’s your creative process like?

Walking the Labyrinth to Your Center

Synchronicity abounds in my life these days; I'm connecting in marvelous and mysterious ways. At a spring equinox labyrinth walk that I co-facilitated, I met a woman who shared a wonderful story about engaging with the labyrinth. As it turned out, she is a writer, so I offered her the opportunity to be Engaging Inner Wisdom's first guest writer, and to share her experience with you.

Before I introduce you to our guest writer though, let me offer some background information about labyrinths. As a Veriditas Certified Labyrinth Facilitator I have supported hundreds of people in using the labyrinth as a method to engage their inner wisdom.

Chartres Style Labyrinth
Built by Myra Elaine Ryneheart

Labyrinths are ancient tools that help us hear and listen to the voice inside. Many people think they are mazes, but they aren't. Unlike a maze, a labyrinth has only one path - the same path in, leads to the center, and then leads out again - walking the labyrinth is about taking a journey to your center. Used in a variety of settings like schools, hospitals, churches, parks, prisons, veteran's administrations, spas, and homes, and for many purposes, including contemplation, meditation, problem solving, grief processing, and enhancing creativity, labyrinths provide deeply meaningful experiences. Labyrinths are found throughout the world, and come in a variety of designs; to find a labyrinth near you visit www.labyrinthlocator.com. If you are in the Los Angeles area come walk with me on World Labyrinth Day, May 4th.

I asked today's guest writer, Luella Wagner, to share what engaging inner wisdom means to her and the insights labyrinth walking evoke:

"Inner wisdom is a “knowing” that comes from deep inside; most of the time it is the “still small voice”, but it can be a dream, a thought, or that gut-wrenching feeling telling you that something isn’t right.  Basically, it is a person’s intuition.  It is one of the most valuable tools that one has at their disposal, yet rarely used.  Like any worthwhile endeavor it takes time, effort, and patience to develop.  The first step to tapping into your inner wisdom is to sit in silence.  That’s it.  Sit in silence.  You might not get an answer right away, but if you keep on practicing sitting in silence, the answers will eventually come to you.  It’s that simple"
~Luella Wagner


What’s in a Labyrinth?  Only You Know the Answer.  
by Luella Wagner
I had walked the labyrinth for years.  I had read about them, studied them, researched them, and taught them, but there was something missing. There is a Native American adage that says, “If you want to understand something, stand under it.”  I couldn’t stand under a labyrinth, so I decided to stand on one, by walking it every day until I found the secrets hidden beneath it.  There was a labyrinth close by my house and if I missed a day walking it, I resorted to my finger labyrinth that someone had given me a long time ago.  I started my quest on December 21, the winter solstice.  I purposely did not Google.  I wanted to see what would come from within or what would come to me without any effort.

So many times we wish that we could just concentrate on the spiritual and not have to worry about “paying the bills.”  I just wanted to walk the labyrinth, pray, and meditate, but I had to substitute teach.  The funny thing is, it was there that I found hidden mysteries of the labyrinth.  While teaching a class in Ancient Greek civilization, I came across the double-sided ax, the same design that is part of the turns in the labyrinth.  I discovered that the double ax was a symbol used by Greek priestesses as part of their ceremonies.  I started to see the labyrinth as a source of divine feminine energy.   I quickly discovered that the same design also symbolized the butterfly. 

Butterfly Gift

I knew all the analogies of the butterfly:  new life, resurrection, transformation, and then I came across the “butterfly effect.”   The term was coined by Edward Lorenz while studying for his doctorate at MIT.  In essence he discovered that the motion of the butterfly’s wings could alter the course of a tornado.  I suddenly saw the importance of every little step I took, choosing to use paper instead of plastic, letting someone on the freeway go ahead of me, holding the door open for someone as I left the 7/11 store, or smiling at someone in the elevator. Even saving a penny would make not only a difference, but a huge difference.  All of a sudden I realized that my tiny actions could have a great impact.  

I continued to walk the labyrinth.  I walked in the sun, in the rain, at night and during the day.   My favorite time was nighttime.  It was quiet, soothing.  The day was over and I could reflect. Again, through my substitute teaching, secrets of the labyrinth were revealed to me.  I was in a kindergarten science class.  The students were coloring an outline of the brain.  As I looked at the brain, I was reminded of the labyrinth.  In the center of the brain was the pineal gland, which many believe is the spiritual eye, just like labyrinth’s center is also the point of illumination.  I learned that the symbol of the pineal gland was the pine cone.  As I was walking to school one day, (yes, I do have that luxury every once in awhile) I found myself walking through a park filled with pine trees.  I couldn’t resist.  I caved in and did a little research on the pine tree.  I discovered that the tree has both male and female pine cones.  The male pine cones release their pollen and the wind carries it upward to the female pine cones which open to receive the pollen.  The pollen germinates for a year and then the female pine cone falls to the ground and releases the seed.  This had great symbolism for the labyrinth.  Sitting in the inner circle, like the pine cone, we receive, and then as we leave the inner circle, we release what we have learned to others.  This is the illumination of the labyrinth.

I continue my journey into the labyrinth and I continue to find insights and I look forward to sharing them with you after the next solstice.  But don’t wait for me.  Your personal mysteries of the labyrinth are waiting to be discovered.  

Luella Wagner

Luella Wagner is a teacher, writer, and documentarian.  She is currently writing her memoir which spans twenty years of teaching, including stints in Brazil, Samoa, and most recently an Indian reservation in southeastern Montana.  She lives in Woodland Hills, California with her cat Moo Moo.     

Deepening the Connection with Our Inner Self

February, in the United States, marks a time to focus on loving others. When we celebrate Valentine’s Day we send love and kindness to our partner, children, co-workers, and/or family. With this attention on loving “others”, I began to think about the importance of loving Self. In Art and Soul Lab's February newsletter I address supporting our creative self. In today's post, I highlight connecting with our inner self – the wise, knowing part of ourselves.

Previously this month, my colleague Karen Paquin wrote about “Intuitive Listening”, those times when we act on a “hunch” without realizing why, yet on an instinctual level we know what we need to do and by following and not questioning our intuition we gain insight or support in a way that our conscious mind could not have, or might have dismissed.

How do we take our intuitive listening to another level and find ways to consciously focus on our inner guidance system? In his book “Yoga: The Spirit and Practice of Moving Into Stillness”, Erich Shiffmann explains the benefits of connecting with this deeper part of our self:

“Inner Guidance…is your deepest knowing made conscious… The spiritual teachings you'll receive from within your silent mind will be the source of new meaning in your life…Spiritual teachings will come in the form of inspiring and guiding you in your thought, speech, and behavior, they will come in the form of clarifying insights and sudden inspirations, creative ideas, intuitive knowings, life circumstances, people and situations, hunches, premonitions, desires, attractions, and spontaneous impulses.”

By connecting to what is inside we enhance the quality of our lives; by knowing our truths we may follow them and ultimately live richer and more meaningful lives.

“To the person who does not know where he wants to go there is no favorable wind.”

~Seneca

So how do we intentionally get to the gems of wisdom that we have inside? How do we connect to and support those parts of ourselves that we don’t always listen to, so that we may experience our internal “spiritual teachings”?

We know that eating well, exercising, taking time to go inward through yoga or meditation, and having a spiritual practice can help us to better hear our inner voice. What about other ways to listen? Here are a few ideas:

• Take time to reflect – How often do you stop and really allow yourself to think about where you would like your life’s journey to take you? What about thinking about past actions in relation to future desires – what has worked, what hasn’t? How do you really feel in a day? Are you happy? Satisfied? Reacting or Responding? 

“Reflection is looking in so you can look out with a broader, bigger, and more accurate perspective.”
~Mick Ukleja and Robert Lorber

• Consider taking yourself on a “self-discovery journey” - Take a trip on your own solely for the purpose of being with yourself to hear and listen to what you want and to what makes you feel passionate and inspired. You could do a “pilgrimage” or visit an awe-inspiring location like Alaska or an event like the season when humpback whales birth. Invest in a journey where it is just you, with you, exploring you. This doesn’t have to be an expensive trip, or even a literal trip as Cat Caracello pointed out in a recent email:

“Journeys can be experienced in the flow of dreaming, making art, accessing imaginal states and engaging creative connections. Journeys are a way of exploring what is sensed, felt, intuited, experienced, known and unknown.”

Be alone with yourself and your thoughts, pay attention, listen and see what you discover. As Tbird Luv suggests, “Stop the doing and be present in your being”. Sit and reflect, ponder, consider, allow ideas to bubble up, review the past in a loving way.

• Try SoulCollage® - SoulCollage® provides an innovative way of connecting to your inner self through images. By intuitively selecting images, creating cards from those images and then interpreting the cards’ meanings, you can discover aspects of yourself that beckon and wish to be seen, but haven’t consciously blossomed. Engaging in creative expression gets us into a zone that allows for ideas and insights to bubble up. 
  
  

In the coming months we will explore other ways of deepening your connection to "self" I hope that you are slowing down enough to really listen and hear, taking needed time to reflect and consider, and doing the work necessary to feel great and have a sense of purpose and vision.

Practice Engaging Your Inner Wisdom:

Select one of the modalities suggested above and try it! Let us know how engaging in one of these activities inspired you or supported you. Leave us a comment and let us know!