Fear Around Writing and Being Stuck - Day 4

Ok... so it is only day 4 and I already have writer's block.

I have so many feelings around writing this blog. Perhaps I should address each in turn:

• It seems really indulgent writing about "whatever" pops up. I "should" have a theme! Isn't there something I could be writing about that creates a sense of continuity? Oh yeah, isn't this blog about "engaging inner wisdom"? Is it possible to put everything I talk about into the context of "inner wisdom". Hmmm...I am not sure. Is choosing to write everyday for 30 days enough of a "theme". Is it possible to write for 30-days about how writing for 30-days impacts my inner wisdom? Hmmm.

• I would like to find my "voice" or my "unique commentary" - well it is scary and ironic that I have not, given that I am a singer, but it is true. Perhaps it relates more to my first point than I realize, and that is why I do not have a theme, other than the overarching idea of "engaging inner wisdom"; i.e. I do not have a theme because I have not found my point of view and what I have to say, or offer. Maybe that is the crux, "feeling like I have nothing meaningful to offer" (drag...where does that come from?).
  
• Given all the amazing, informative, creative, deeply spiritual blogs out there, I feel a tremendous sense of pressure to write something pithy and resource-full, posts that include links and connections to outside resources. This of course ultimately becomes a loop - if I am linking to other people who have written about things I want to write about, and they have written well, then I think inwardly, "why bother writing something, it has already been written, and it is better than anything I could write, so...why not just promote other people's work?". Which brings me back to not finding my own voice. *sigh

Love this from thestrangestsituation.blogspot.com

• Why do I want to write anyway? What is the point? To what end? Is it because "everyone's doing it, and it is the best way to get myself out into the world and show people what I have to say and offer?" But...what is it I have to offer that has not already been said more clearly, more concisely, and with more eloquence? *double sigh... see above!
  
• I am so future oriented. I want the blog to be good, no great! I want it to get a million, gazillion hits, and take off! I want book options and signing tours and oh my, oh my, oh my - VERUCA SALT (Charlie and the Chocolate Factory)!! Oh My Gosh! Such HUGE EGO involvement, and a shit-ton of pressure (for those of you who don't curse, well, you might not want to read my blog, because I definitely have a voice around "to curse or not to curse", and I lean on the "to curse" side of the spectrum).
  
• I fear being inconsistent. This of course stems from everything already mentioned.

Being consistent and having something meaningful to say remain the biggest obstacles to writing this blog. I am using the NANOWRIMO 30-day challenge as a catalyst, but it does not help me churn out the words, find a meaningful topic, or develop an over-arching theme. Moreover, I am not sure that anything I have to say will be relevant to you, or anyone, for that matter. Why am I doing this anyway?


If you blog, have you dealt with these issues or feelings, and how have you overcome them? What was it like for you when you first started blogging? How did you go about becoming consistent, finding something to say, etc.?

5 thanksgivings:

1. I am grateful for being able to read and write.
2. I am grateful that there is a forum to write my feelings, experiences, and whims.
3. I am grateful that NANOWRIMO http://www.nanowrimo.org exists and inspires so many people.
4. I am grateful for all the amazing authors who paint textural imagery and felt experiences using words.
5. I am grateful for my computer.

One Simple Tip to Boost Your Success

“ Success begets success” ~Anonymous

Do you know why “Anonymous” said this? Because any one of us could have said it, we’ve all experienced it. Think about a time when you’ve tried to do something new. If it was hard (success was more difficult), you may have given up, or at least found yourself dreading the idea of doing it again, but if it came easily (success was easier), you may have continued, or at least tried again. Success encourages us. It gives us hope, highlights our accomplishments, and makes us feel capable.

Most definitions of success include the words “prosperity”, “popularity”, “wealth”, and “goals”, however, I think being successful includes far more than having an outcome that involves money or everyone thinking we’re swell. Success moves beyond achieving goals, and into the realm of interaction with others, perception of self, and a life lived with depth and meaning.

Success is so much more than just performance, prosperity, and popularity

I continually assess my success, sometimes haphazardly, and in a few instances, with repeatable certainty. For example, every year, I do a “success inventory”, a process in which I take time to give myself kudos. I do my success inventory on a special day, my birthday. I don’t know about you, but to me, birthdays mean a lot! I love spending time with family and friends and visiting special places. Birthdays also offer a clean slate, a new year, and provide a marvelous opportunity to reflect and grow.

So, as Earth begins its course around the sun again, I take time to reflect on my previous revolution, and set seeds of intention for my annual adventure. Several weeks prior to my birthday I begin asking myself questions to get my brain thinking (check out “One Small Step Can Change YourLife” by Robert Maurer.) I don't’ have to find the answers right away, I just want my brain to chew on the questions for a while, ‘stirring the pot’ so to speak.

I start to think about what I accomplished, where I fell short, the challenges and unexpected opportunities that arose, and whether I reacted or responded to them, and how. I ask myself, “What was the general tone of my year in terms of my emotions”. I consider how my interpersonal relationships played out, where I need to take responsibility, and where I need to let go and not get caught up in drama – even If that drama is only in my head.

On the day of my birthday, I start out by creating sacred space. Whether at home, or a location like the beach or park, I lay out a cloth, using a material I love, select iconic items that have meaning for me, and light a candle. The candle reminds me to bring in the light, positive energy. Often times I will include a natural item such as a flower, leaf, or seashell, something that reminds me of my connection to the world around me.

Rituals support humans in their daily life

Once my sacred space is set, I allow myself to settle, spending time in meditation, either a mindfulness meditation, a guided visualization, or centering prayer. With that done, I begin to free write, allowing myself to remember my year; sometimes I will go month to month from my last birthday, other times I will notice the highlights first. What I’ve found, is that usually, I’ve had an amazingly successful year, not just because I’ve accomplished goals, but because even in my trying, difficult times, I realize that I’ve learned something, or taken away something of value that makes me a better person today. I end my ritual by considering how I would like my next year to flow – I don’t list goals per se, but rather, I set a tone, and come up with words that indicate my intentions.  This year I decided to focus on being joyous, inspired and confident; ultimately with those intentions I will be successful.

By engaging in my annual ritual, I recognize that “success” means so much more than accomplishing a goal, obtaining wealth, or becoming popular – success is a quality, a timber that defines my experiences. To be kind, is to be successful. To be happy, is to be successful. To be connected with others, empathizing, celebrating, contributing, is to be successful. I’ve had a rich and marvelously successful year, and I’ve accomplished quite a bit too!

Practice engaging your inner wisdom:

What does success mean to you? How do you measure your success? Do you engage in a birthday ritual, or other rituals to give yourself credit for your success? Have you ever considered doing a “success inventory” – try them daily, weekly, monthly, or annually – by taking stock of your success, you will bring about more success.